One Month Later

March 11 post:
Goals:
I have a new bike and I want to ride it.
I want to turn off the electronics and read.
I need to get on MTurk 5 times a week.
Build up crafted inventory for sales.
Write

Lists:
Pies
Breads
Travel Bags
Quilts
Placemats
Knitting
Blog

Laziness:
Sit outside and read
Catch up on DVD collection
Travel
Online Puzzles


Ok, so just what have I done? Very little bike riding as it is giving me massive headaches. I have done some reading but I've also become addicted to Pokemon Red and that means more time on electronics. I haven't been on MTurk at all...shame on me. I did increase my Itty Bitty Bag inventory and purchased more fabric and zippers, but I haven't started on the next load. A few hours of writing only. Two really good cherry pies (too easy because I didn't have to make the filling). No bread or travel bags or placemats. Blogging a little but I closed my Block of the Month blog. Knitting is a check! I found a great sock pattern and have made one pair and two half-pairs, all of different yarn weights and needle sizes.  I'm behind in my quilting, have only watched a couple of new DVDs, one trip to Fort Collins to help my son move, but I have put up many online puzzles. 

Looking back on the last 30 days I am disappointed but also feeling mellow because I really don't have a guilt trip being put on me for slacking off.
Yes, I will try to be better this next 30 days...promise.

Revisiting Lists

The idea of "being lazy" is sweet but overly simplified. There is a difference between not being responsible to outside employment and doing nothing all day...day after day...

Life must move forward, tasks must be accomplished. The move doesn't have to be large or the tasks Sisyphusian, but they should be a bit more than making the bed and loading the dishwasher. Lists can create the opposite affect of its intended role by causing guilt when items are not ticked off by a deadline.

A happy medium must be found.

I tried to set up a calendar schedule, thinking that I would be happier with some of my day scheduled-for. Now WHY in the world would I think that??? For me, making a routine is contrary to what I want my faux-retirement to be about. Knowing which day the garbage gets picked up and when NCIS and Castle are on and being aware that I need to exercise should be enough to make it through the week. Do I really need to schedule Monday as Baking Day, Tuesday as Garbage Day, Wednesday as Biking Day, Thursday as Laundry Day, Friday as Knitting Day, Saturday as Shopping Day, and Sunday as Change The Sheets Day? It took one migraine to mess up my attempt at being a Virgo.

I decided to be more broad in my deadlines and came up with a MONTH list, things I wanted to accomplish within 30 days. I didn't go for whole projects but small parts of the whole, something that can be accomplished over a few hours. This list has some UnFinishedObject tasks as well as starting new projects.

For today, because I've already failed at long-term scheduling, I scratched down a few things I normally wouldn't think of doing during my average meandering around my many projects: clearing space on the kitchen counter, setting up the serger for a project on my MONTH list, make a pot of rice. Just little things that might get put off day after day. Maybe, by putting them down on paper, they become more timely and worthy of a slot in my not-so-busy-day.

Now let's see if I continue to fail at Task Lists or if I can make it mellow enough to still feel like I'm lovin' the laziness.

Begin Anew

Sunday morning breakfast is a ritual that brings me back to center and reboots my week. It is a practice in focus and multitasking: bacon must be carefully watched while coffee is ground and measured, bread cannot be toasted too early, and eggs must be basted evenly. When perfection is achieved, the napkin is folded and the orange juice is poured. After the last corner of toast has wiped up the cooled yoke the week can begin anew.

From "To Cure a Werewolf" Copyright Diana Metz

Paralyzed by Choices

What to do, what to do? I'm wandering around the house trying to figure out what I'm going to do today...tomorrow...next week. If I were a dull person with few hobbies and interests this might be easier, just pick up a book or turn on the TV or take a walk. Given the freedom to choose what to do every day can be exhausting. Sewing? Baking? Reading? Quilting? Cleaning? Knitting? Writing? Shopping? Vegging in front of the tube? How do I choose?

My hell would be placed in a shop and told I could only buy ONE THING. Making choices has been a dread for me, whether it's picking a candy bar, movie, or skein of yarn. I've tried to accept that there is no losing when choosing between two things I like because I end up with something I like, but my brain teases me with the loss of the 'other'. The only solace would be knowing that I am not losing the 'other' but only postponing it.

So...here I am, all the time in the world to do whatever I want, whenever I want to (withing the framework of "I am unemployed and have no money"). There are techniques to make this overabundance of choice more manageable: Schedule my day, make a to-do list, break up the pile of wants into manageable tasks and spread them out over the week. Yeah, but then freedom goes right out the window. How about the mentality that it doesn't matter what I do, there is no right answer to the question: "What am I going to do today?" and there is no wrong answer.

Rather than looking at life as a series of choices why not see it as an endless buffet we don't have to step away from? We can take a bite of this and some of that and pass on some bits to have later? Does this make goal-setters cringe? Am I harmed by just wandering aimlessly through life?

Yuck, do I have to make a choice on making a choice on how to choose? Well not today, and probably not tomorrow. As long as I don't feel disappointed with lack of completed tasks I think I will drift through the days doing what I want when I want to. At least for now.

Munch vs Mess

I'm a muncher, as you can tell by my size. But there are times when the munchies are messy and I need my fingers clean (gaming and knitting and sewing). So what is a busy muncher to do? Today I am employing the use of chopsticks as my method of delivery for Cheetos, fried not puffed. This is working out very well indeed. I have a nice enameled set with pointed ends. I have placed the orange yummies into a coffee mug to allow internal stand-up resting of the red utensils, thus making their retrieval quite handy.
The pup has quickly picked up the ability to take a proffered nibblet from between the pointy implement with ease.

Too bad ice cream is such a melty snack.

Sock it to Me

A great perk to being retired is having time to learn new things and not worrying that I'll have to put it down for work or feeling guilty at not working on other projects.

I blame Joann's for opening the door for a possible new hobby. They had yarn and yarn looms on sale. Well being faux-retired I don't have the money to spend on such things but there is a wealth of information on YouTube and I have several tubs of yarn and Mom recently sent me a great variety of needles (side question: why is it knitting needles? why not nitting needles?).

So here I sit...plying needles and yarn and play/pausing tutorials, music in the background (Tom Petty at the moment). The future of this hobby depends on the quality of that first sock. I'm going to start with the multi-needle style just to learn the basics then, if this first sock is successful, I'll try the Magic Loop method.

My inflated dream plan is to start with slipperish sorta socks, anklets, with regular yarn before deciding if I want to try the lighter yarns to make Birky Socks.

So remember, if I look frustrated don't bug me...I have pointy kneedles and I ain't afraid to inflict pain with them!

Resist Temptation

As part of my fabric addiction intervention I unsubscribed to all my quilt shop email lists...well, all but one. Today I got a great quilt project idea from Moda: Sudoku! What a great idea, 9 blocks in sets of 9! I MUST do this. Yes, I'll change up some of the blocks to ones I like and no, I won't used the recommended batiks. I would love to use a set of bright solids on black but somehow I just can't bring myself to pay for a premade set of fat quarters for $60.
So...my options are to EQ7 the blocks and reduce the size to see if a Jelly Roll will work or pull fabric from my stash. Guess which option I'm going to try? But gee whiz I want to get those solids!

Goals and Lists and Laziness

Rule 1: There is nothing wrong with doing nothing.
Rule 2: There is nothing wrong with having goals and to-do lists.

Goals:
I have a new bike and I want to ride it.
I want to turn off the electronics and read.
I need to get on MTurk 5 times a week.
Build up crafted inventory for sales.
Write

Lists:
Pies
Breads
Travel Bags
Quilts
Placemats
Knitting
Blog

Laziness:
Sit outside and read
Catch up on DVD collection
Travel
Online Puzzles

It Takes a Great Man...

It is only with the support of a great husband that I am able to give faux retirement another shot. I have been reassured that I do not have to feel guilty when asking for money or when being a touch lazy around the house. There are no expectations of duties or to-do lists or glares of undone housework. I get to do what I want.
Yes, I am limited on my money but that can be a good challenge, right?

Take Two

Why did I ever give this up?
Was it the lure of working in the perfect job? Was it the idea that working 2 days a week couldn't be that bad? It wasn't the money. It wasn't boredom. It just seemed like a good idea at the time.

It wasn't a good idea.
The work wasn't hard but never again shall I work in a retail environment. Never again will I work in a job where I have to lie or alter my "opinion" to suit a customer. So unless something really special comes around I am done.

53 and rebooting my Faux Retirement.