What to do, what to do? I'm wandering around the house trying to figure out what I'm going to do today...tomorrow...next week. If I were a dull person with few hobbies and interests this might be easier, just pick up a book or turn on the TV or take a walk. Given the freedom to choose what to do every day can be exhausting. Sewing? Baking? Reading? Quilting? Cleaning? Knitting? Writing? Shopping? Vegging in front of the tube? How do I choose?
My hell would be placed in a shop and told I could only buy ONE THING. Making choices has been a dread for me, whether it's picking a candy bar, movie, or skein of yarn. I've tried to accept that there is no losing when choosing between two things I like because I end up with something I like, but my brain teases me with the loss of the 'other'. The only solace would be knowing that I am not losing the 'other' but only postponing it.
So...here I am, all the time in the world to do whatever I want, whenever I want to (withing the framework of "I am unemployed and have no money"). There are techniques to make this overabundance of choice more manageable: Schedule my day, make a to-do list, break up the pile of wants into manageable tasks and spread them out over the week. Yeah, but then freedom goes right out the window. How about the mentality that it doesn't matter what I do, there is no right answer to the question: "What am I going to do today?" and there is no wrong answer.
Rather than looking at life as a series of choices why not see it as an endless buffet we don't have to step away from? We can take a bite of this and some of that and pass on some bits to have later? Does this make goal-setters cringe? Am I harmed by just wandering aimlessly through life?
Yuck, do I have to make a choice on making a choice on how to choose? Well not today, and probably not tomorrow. As long as I don't feel disappointed with lack of completed tasks I think I will drift through the days doing what I want when I want to. At least for now.
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